


Kichiku Otouto Bible XXX

by SympatriCuckoo



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Crack, Humor, M/M, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Parody, pop culture references
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-08
Updated: 2016-02-08
Packaged: 2018-05-19 04:13:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5953186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SympatriCuckoo/pseuds/SympatriCuckoo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I AM A SKELETON AND SO LACK BLOOD, TISSUE AND A REPRODUCTIVE SYSTEM. HOW DO I HAVE A MATING DRIVE?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kichiku Otouto Bible XXX

**Author's Note:**

> This is meant to be genial humor, not to insult people. Also not meant to be well-written.
> 
> References at the end.

Sans woke up and stumbled into the kitchen, expecting to see Papyrus making his morning spaghetti. To his surprise, Papyrus wasn't there, so Sans went to check to see if Papyrus was still in bed and if he was feeling okay.

 

Opening the door, Sans became worried when he saw that Papyrus was huddled under the blankets, an orange glow emanating from under the covers like the world's largest, most florescent nightlight. 

 

Sans sat on the edge of Papyrus' bed and rests a hand against the glowing lump. “you okay, bro?”

 

Papyrus shifted slightly, mumbling, “I FEEL LIKE I AM BURNING!!112!1” before throwing off his blankets to dramatically emphasize the point.

 

From underneath the sudden blanket-avalanche, Sans said, “sounds like you're in heat.”

 

“I AM A SKELETON AND SO LACK BLOOD, TISSUE AND A REPRODUCTIVE SYSTEM. HOW DO I HAVE A MATING DRIVE?”

 

“magic, I guess.” Sans said, from where he was trapped under a dozen blankets and a stuffed animal.

 

'WELL, BETTER PARTICIPATE IN THE KAL-IF-FEE BEFORE THE PLAK TOW TAKES ME.”

 

Sans finally managed to extricate himself. “wrong fandom, Paps.” He started to shuffle towards the door. “you'll be fine after you've diddled yourself a bit.”

 

Before he could open the door, Sans was seized from behind and thrown back onto the bed where he was quickly ensnared by the blankets again.

 

Papyrus loomed over him, suddenly having donned sexy glasses and and smirking an evil little smirk. “AU CONTRAIRE, MON FRÈRE,” he said before magic orange drippy tentacles burst out of his back like a bad Slenderman hentai.

 

“no no papyrus-dono! yamete!” Sans squeaked out, voice suddenly jumping three octaves and body shortening until he was one third Papyrus' height. Tentacles wrapped around his body, immobilizing and gagging him and shredding his clothes like they were made of paper-mâché or Raditz.

 

Papyrus climbed back onto the bed, managing to make it look sexy through the power of unrealistic badly written smut rather than looking like a skeleton awkwardly trying to get back on a bed while sporting an erection. “THAT'S NO SPELLED Y-E-S.”

 

“that's no spelled n-o,” Sans somehow managed to say through a tentacle.

 

“NYEHHEH, MY BONER WANTS TO MEET YOU, SANS!” and indeed it was quite a boner, as long as a femur and shaped like one, too!

 

Papyrus put his pecker into Sans' slippery sheath, and the two of them romped rigorously.

 

“i love you!” Sans screamed as he orgasmed, little hearts bursting from his eye sockets in a macabre display that would probably have this rated as M for violence and body horror if this wasn't a magic-based fandom and therefore completely probable.

 

“I LOVE U2!!!!111!” Papyrus came with Sans, body somehow meeting that .0000000102o384012222222222barred% chance of occurrence. It was unclear if Papyrus was reciprocating Sans' feelings or if he was declaring undying devotion for the band.

 

The two cuddled together, seemingly ignoring that this constituted an act of rape in the first degree as per Underground penal code 130.35, and fell asleep.

 

Flowey stood/floated/grew outside their second story window, counting his sex pollen experiment as a success.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Pon Far, Fal-if-fee, plak tow and sex pollen from Star Trek and related fanworks.  
> paper-mâché or Raditz from DBZA.  
> No spelled Y-E-S and the response from Watchmen.  
> Generally poking fun at fanfiction sex and the way that rape=love in manga and anime.


End file.
